Some things in life you know are going to turn out bad. But being humans we have an in-built sense of optimism. I’m sure at some stage of our evolution this made perfect sense. Ug decided to leave the cave because you know what, the lean-to that he could make out of wood was going to be a whole lot more airy. That kind of thing. But over time we’ve learned that this sense of adventure can get us into a whole heap of trouble.
And so to the Hoxton Beach Falafel Feast. Two big warning signs here:

1. Alliteration. Never a good sign with food. Screams of marketing desperation.
2. The word Hoxton. Shoreditch we can just about handle. But Hoxton and its square represents all that is bad about London’s creative fashion scene. And let me tell you, there isn’t a beach for 60 miles in any direction.

The £3.25 plastic wrapped falafel itself was bought in Planet Organic, just off Tottenham Court Road. A Whole Foods Lite for students at the University of London. Nothing wrong with that. What’s wrong though is the shit they sell.

The feast in question turned out to be a dry gravel like falafel, a metalic tasting tomato, some non-descript lettuce all wrapped up for our convienince in a rubber wrap. Now I’m sure that wrap wasn’t meant to be rubber, but hey, student’s will eat anything. At least that’s what the clowns in the Hoxton Beach hut are obviously thinking.

Well we here at Trashblanc.com certainly won’t. The falafel buying public have been let down in a big way here, thank heavens there’s nearly four weeks left in the month.